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Quoth My Hard Drive, “Nevermore.” (aka my tax software nightmare) | Travels With Carly

Quoth My Hard Drive, “Nevermore.”

Quoth My Hard Drive,

Quoth My Hard Drive, "Nevermore."

 

A couple of years ago I had a most unpleasant April 15th weekend thanks to a tax software nightmare. Computers are great for doing your taxes, until they decide to gift you with the blue screen of death. After staying up all night in a vain attempt to reconstruct my taxes, I channeled my annoyance into poetry. I think Edgar Allen Poe would have written The Raven a bit differently had he lived today.

 

 

Once upon a tax night dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and confusing volume of senseless tax lore.
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a zapping,
As of some one loudly rapping, rapping at my hard drive’s door.
“‘Tis some glitch,” I muttered, “tapping at my hard drive’s door-
Only this, and nothing more.”

 

Ah, distinctly I recall it was April, bleakest month of all,
And each separate tax deduction wrought receipts upon my lap.
Eagerly I searched for tax reduction;- vainly I had sought the function
From my PC’s algorithmic junctions – answers to the marriage tax –
When suddenly to my dismay the screen turned blue…a frozen app!
So I softly whispered “crap.”

 

Deep into that blue screen peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreading screens no techie ever dared to see before;
But the silence was unbroken, and my PC gave no token,
Of the problem or component broken deep within my hard drive’s core.
The Help Desk I did implore as my PC weakly beeped once more.
Merely this, and nothing more.

 

Back toward the keyboard turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely it is something in my Windows Setup.”
Help Desk said “Start over…boot up and this mystery explore.”
Let my heart be still a moment as I repeat my prayer of yore…
“’Tis a glitch and nothing more.”

 

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
Anger at the Help Desk’s depressing diagnosis for my PC’s core.
So I sat there sulking, weeping while my PC fast erasing
All my data long developed, bracing for the final chore.
Raging, swearing and thus preparing to delete my hard drive’s core.
“System failure…nothing more.”

 

So, dear reader, heed this warning, back-up your files…or face mourning,
Wishing, pleading and thus entreating the Help Desk to save the core.
Damn my brain for lack of vision, I had no back-up provision
I had simply not envisioned losing my entire core.
‘Twas not a glitch, as I first thought, and so I threw it out the door.
Quoth my hard drive, “Nevermore.”

 

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